Regulate Your Nervous System Before You Text
A text written in fight-or-flight rarely lands the way you meant. UsMend helps you slow down, find the message your steadier self would send, and put the phone down until you are ready.
Texts to rewrite before sending
I literally cannot deal with this right now.
I am too activated to do this well over text. I want to come back to it in an hour — I am not running.
Names the state so they do not have to guess.
I am going to lose my mind if you do not respond.
I noticed I am spiraling. I am going to put my phone down for thirty minutes and try again with a calmer message.
Says the loop out loud and breaks it.
How can you not see what you are doing?!
My nervous system is loud right now. I am going to wait until I can write something I will be proud of tomorrow.
Refuses to send the activated draft.
This page helps when...
- Your heart is racing and the draft is sharper than you usually are.
- You can feel a fight-or-flight wave and you know the text will reflect it.
- You catch yourself typing in all caps or hitting send within seconds of writing.
Start with one sentence
My nervous system is hot. I am going to pause and come back in [time].
I noticed I am in a spiral. I am going to step back so I do not write something I will regret.
I want to send the version of this from tomorrow morning, not from right now. Talk later.
Common questions
How do I calm down before texting?
Slow exhale (longer than the inhale), feet on the floor, water in hand. Ninety seconds is often enough to shift state. Then reread the draft — it usually reads differently.
What if the situation does not give me time to pause?
It almost always does. Even thirty seconds and one sentence ("I am stepping away for a minute") creates the pause.
Is it bad to text when activated?
It is rarely the best version of you. The text that gets sent in that state usually adds a second fight on top of the first — about the text itself.